Crisis management at home

“The more couples spend and lose in the stock market, the more they fight,” says Mary Jo Rapini, a psychotherapist with The Methodist Hospital in Houston, who has been counseling more couples who find that anxiety over their economic situation threatens the long-range outlook of their lives together.

“The bickering can put a huge strain on a marriage,” she says. “Stress and anxiety can erode trust between partners, especially if one misunderstands why the other is acting distant or distracted.”

The keys to getting through a crisis are to realize that financial problems do not go away overnight and to communicate your fears. If you’re too angry to talk, write a note and talk later. Keeping feelings inside only harbors resentment and, in many cases, leads to cheating and/or divorce.

Rapini suggests some ways couples can get through a bumpy economy:

• Don’t panic. If you take your money out now, there will be penalties. Consider the long-term view.
• Cut family expenses. Sit down with your spouse and find three expenses to cut back on. This will make your bond stronger.
• Eat at home/exercise together. Eating at home costs less and is healthier. Take a bike ride or walk with your spouse and talk. This is a great way to promote togetherness.
• Set small realistic goals. Take a few dollars from each of your paychecks and start putting away a little money now for a family vacation.
• Entertain at home. Having friends over, as opposed to going out to a restaurant or club, is much cheaper and, most of the time, more fun.